DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER years of putting up with my teenage daughter’s terrible behaviour, I’ve reached my wits’ end.
She is nasty, argumentative and patronising. In fact, she can’t be nice unless she wants something. I don’t know how to tell her I’ve had enough and that it’s time she grew up.
I’m 50 and my daughter is 19.
She’s been living with me and her stepmother, since her abusive mother left her, nine years ago.
They’ve barely seen each other since. Her mum never remembers her birthday or sends a Christmas present.
My daughter was a sweet little girl but she turned into a monster at 13. She only emerges from bed to buy cigarettes and she smokes and drinks far too much.
Despite being bright, she quit school at 16 and has never had a job that lasted long.
I’m not just fed up with the situation, I’m desperately worried about her. What can I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your daughter’s mother abandoned her at a very young and vulnerable age. Since then, she has made no effort to repair their relationship.
It’s very likely this is at the root of your daughter’s issues.
If she acts like she doesn’t care about anything, that’s probably because what happened has left her feeling worthless and rejected. She also sounds depressed.
When she’s rude, she’s probably trying to test you to see if you’ll leave her too.
Make it clear you love her and want to help.
Contact youngminds.org.uk (0808 802 5544), which has a parents’ helpline. Also see my support pack on Depression.
Also, please suggest she takes a look at The Mix website and helpline for under-25s (themix.org.uk, 0808 808 4994).
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