![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/NINTCHDBPICT000853399966.jpg\")
<\/p>\nSEX can fall way down the list of priorities, especially when you\u2019re in a long-term relationship. <\/p>\n
Life\u2019s busy, we get it. New research by lingerie and sex toy brand Lovehoney has found that one in 10 Brits feel like sex is a chore. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Plus, 29% say that life being too tiring and stressful is a reason for not having sex. <\/p>\n
But all you need is 15 minutes, we promise! <\/p>\n
From getting into the right headspace, to all the best positions, our experts reveal their top tips.<\/p>\n
Not sure what turns your partner on? It\u2019s time to talk. But be aware that may mean hearing some home truths. \u201cTalking about sex and what you and your partner like and don\u2019t like can be a sensitive subject.\u00a0<\/p>\n
If your partner is sexually insecure, they may take it personally,\u201d says Jo Hemmings, sex and relationship psychologist for water-based lubricant Knect. \u201cIt\u2019s better to have these conversations away from the sex scenario itself. <\/p>\n Have a chat over a drink in the evening or a relaxing dinner.\u201d <\/p>\n If approaching the topic makes you or your partner shy, there are dozens of apps that help build intimacy, such as Honi, a relationship tool that features dares, questions and prompts.<\/p>\n Cheeky texts aren\u2019t just for those in the honeymoon period. Want your partner to rip your clothes off as soon as they get home? <\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Make them lust for you all day while they\u2019re at work. Gillian Myhill, sex and dating expert and co-founder of Sizzl Dating, recommends sending one of these three messages during the day:\u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI just remembered I had a dream about you last night \u2013 I\u2019d really like to play it out in person this evening.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m feeling really excited thinking about you. What would you like to do with me this evening? Tell me about a fantasy that we could play out together.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI know you have a stressful day ahead today. I\u2019ll make you feel better this evening with\u2026\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n Wearing your favourite underwear can make you feel sexy, and not only turn your partner on, but will help get you in the mood, too. <\/p>\n Give them a glimpse in the morning, saying they can\u2019t see the full show until later on. Or send them a link for a new lingerie set you\u2019d like as a gift \u2013 are they really going to say no?<\/p>\n If your house is full of clutter, it will be difficult to feel relaxed and sex will probably be the last thing on your mind. <\/p>\n \u201cIf you\u2019re distracted by chores like laundry or housework, you won\u2019t develop a \u2018sexual mindset\u2019, so it is really important to create a clean, healthy space,\u201d says Gillian. <\/p>\n Little and often makes tidying less daunting \u2013 try a regular 15-minute after-dinner tidy-up.<\/p>\n Lighting a candle may seem like a clich\u00e9. But there\u2019s no denying it sets the mood, as does soft, low lighting and essential oils. <\/p>\n \u201cSex is a full-body experience, so rather than relying just on touch, aromatic candles can help activate all of our senses, contributing to more enjoyable sex,\u201d explains Cecile Gasnault, director at sex products brand Smile Makers.<\/p>\n Tantra, an ancient Indian meditation-type practice, can strengthen the emotional bond with your partner and make for great sex. <\/p>\n The goal of tantra is to connect two people emotionally as well as physically. <\/p>\n Learn the basics with podcasts by searching for \u201ctantra\u201d on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. <\/p>\n \u201cTantric eye-gazing is one exercise you can do in a minute,\u201d says Gillian. \u201cSit opposite each other on the floor or bed, legs crossed and holding hands.\u201d <\/p>\n You may be surprised at the emotions that surface, and communicating these with your partner can help build intimacy and trust. Then try using tantric eye-gazing during sex to make it meaningful.<\/p>\n A 15-minute window isn\u2019t long. To get the most out of it, encouragement is essential to guide each other to pleasure. <\/p>\n \u201cFirst, use positive reinforcement for everything they do that gives you pleasure,\u201d says Cecile. \u201cMoaning is a good signal and can help both of you get even more aroused.\u201d <\/p>\n And when asking your partner for something in bed, there\u2019s a way to do it. \u201cShare fantasies with them or things that you would like to do by giving them an active role,\u201d says Gillian. <\/p>\n \u201cSay: \u2018I\u2019d like you to do this to me,\u2019 rather than: \u2018I would like this.\u2019 Or you could say: \u2018I love it when you do this.\u2019\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n We\u2019re always talking about how to achieve the greatest orgasm, or even one at all, but Gillian recommends relaxing a little. \u201cTry not to focus on the orgasm,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n \u201cInstead, enjoy the experience. Putting too much pressure on yourself can have the opposite effect.\u201d It is hard to ignore the O gap, however. <\/p>\n \u201cKnowing your own body is key \u2013 you need to understand yourself and what makes you climax,\u201d says Gillian. \u201cI\u2019m a strong advocate for masturbation, as it can help you to understand how your body works and responds to touch. <\/p>\n "For a lot of women, sexual attraction is linked to psychological factors, such as anxiety, for example.\u201d<\/p>\n The majority of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t be afraid to invite a little help into the bedroom to add some excitement. <\/p>\n \u201cSex toys can be used during penetrative sex for clitoral stimulation,\u201d Cecile says. Browse a sex-toy website with your partner, each choosing something you\u2019d like to bring to the party. <\/p>\n \u201cPositions that stimulate the clitoris might bring you a lot more pleasure too, such as cowgirl, doggy style and spooning,\u201d Cecile says.<\/p>\n Lube is a handy aid to keep in your bedside drawer, especially if you suffer from menopausal vaginal dryness. But even those without issues should give it a go. <\/p>\n \u201cEven when you are \u2018wet,\u2019 lube can add to the sensations and overall experience,\u201d Cecile says. \u201cSometimes you may feel nervous and won\u2019t be as naturally lubricated as you need to be for stimulation to feel comfortable or pleasurable,\u201d says Cecile. <\/p>\n There are different types \u2013 water-based feels most natural, silicone is good for those with sensitive skin and to use with toys, while oil-based lube is the longest-lasting.\u00a0<\/p>\n For sex and relationship advice listen to Pillow Talks, a podcast hosted by sex therapist Vanessa Marin and her husband Xander.\u00a0<\/p>\n Sex-scribe Shespot.co.uk sends a box of hand-selected sexual wellness products to your door every three months for a subscription fee of \u00a370 a year.<\/p>\n Discover ethically produced erotic videos, films, audio, galleries and stories on female- and couple-friendly streaming service Frolicme.com, from \u00a39.95 a month.<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/ac-sex-position-full-nelson-combo.jpg\")
<\/picture>WRESTLING BUDDIES <\/span><\/p>\nEverything you need to know about the full nelson sex position <\/h3>\n
![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/CJ-COMP-FAB-COUPLES-2.jpg\")
<\/picture>TIL TIFF DO US PART <\/span><\/p>\nFrom less sex to petty rows – how to tell your marriage is really over<\/h3>\n
You've got mail<\/h3>\n
Most read in Health<\/h2>\n
![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/newspress-collage-24449771-1697670409615.jpg\")
<\/picture>HORROR TRUTH <\/span><\/p>\nI had two YEARS of cancer treatment before realising I never had the disease<\/h3>\n
![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/f-o-health-words-sam-852130097.jpg\")
<\/picture>CANCER DRIVE <\/span><\/p>\nRecord number of cancers diagnosed early thanks to NHS testing drive<\/h3>\n
![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/positive-cassette-rapid-test-covid-853205627.jpg\")
<\/picture>AFTER SHOCK <\/span><\/p>\nCatching Covid \u2018increases risk of brain-robbing disease & paralysing condition\u2019<\/h3>\n
![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/crop-24447710.jpg\")
<\/picture>KNOCK-OFF JABS <\/span><\/p>\nFears as fake Ozempic fat jabs infiltrate the UK and ‘pose risk to health’<\/h3>\n
Dress to impress<\/h3>\n
Create the right mood<\/h3>\n
Glow for it<\/h3>\n
Step 2 \u2013 Take It To The Bedroom<\/h2>\n
Get connected<\/h3>\n
Word up<\/h3>\n
Don't always aim for the Big O<\/h3>\n
(Sex) Toy Story<\/h3>\n
You win, you lube\u00a0<\/h3>\n
Heat things up <\/h3>\n
Listen and learn\u00a0<\/h3>\n
Eyes on the prize\u00a0<\/h3>\n
Read More on The Sun<\/h2>\n
![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/picture-showing-christmas-ham-served-701517079-1.jpg\")
<\/picture>![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/RB-COMP-BB7-2.jpg\")
<\/picture>![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/NINTCHDBPICT000853400501.jpg\")
![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/lesbian-couple-lies-bed-together-853399917.jpg\")
![](\"https:\/\/www.thesun.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Getty-Images_HEALTH.jpeg\")