Things have got really nasty with my ex-boyfriend since I threw him out

DEAR DEIDRE: THINGS have got really nasty with my ex-boyfriend since I threw him out.

He is demanding to see his biological son but has rejected my older son, who he brought up as his own for nine years.


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My sons are 11 and seven and are now very confused by what is going on. 

Things came to a head, two months ago when he threw my elder son’s ­Nintendo Switch at the wall. 

He had been volatile and moody for a while and I ­suspected he was having an affair.

We’re both 35. He’s called me all sorts of names. 

Yesterday he insisted I take my younger son to his sister’s where he is living. He told me he didn’t want any more to do with my elder child.

DEIDRE SAYS: This will be an unsettling time for all of you.

Both your children will benefit if you can both communicate calmly. 

Resist the urge to behave the same way as your ex and protect them from negative thoughts about your ex. 

Talk to both sons and explain gently that although they have different fathers, they will always be brothers and equal. If you can, talk to your ex about how his attitude is hurting both boys. Speak to Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363), who support mothers as well. 

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