‘People want me to forgive wife for bonking neighbour to save Xmas?’

Everyone says I must forgive my cheating wife for the sake of a harmonious family Christmas – but why should I?

I’ve already put up with her sleeping with our neighbour, snogging my mate and leaving me for a younger colleague.

She’s been back here full-time since September, but I know she’s playing away again because I can spot the signs.

At the moment, she’s like a love-struck teen; she’s wearing loads of make-up and staying out late “working”.

She mutters that she is bogged down with a “special project”.

However, I suspect that special project is an ex-lover who recently moved back into the area with a Lottery win under his belt.

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The other morning she staggered home at 2am and looked as though she had a love bite on her neck.

I quizzed her and she claimed to have fallen out of a taxi and banged her neck on a curb stone, but I’m not completely stupid.

It’s our turn to host this year and we’ve got 20 people coming over, including my grandmother who is poorly and might not be around next year… I’ve told my parents and in-laws that I want to cancel and have been told to get over myself.

How do you like that? My Dad suggested I turn the other cheek.

My mum insists it’s not like that and reasons that the children and elderly adults will be very disappointed if they’re not given the Christmas I’ve promised. But I didn’t realise she’d be sitting at the table humiliating me all over again.

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JANE SAYS:

You can’t fake a happy, family Christmas if you’re dying inside.

I’m not suggesting you cancel Christmas completely, but you clearly don’t need the pressure.

It’s unrealistic of your family to expect you to pull out all the stops when your marriage is in crisis.

Surely someone else can host in their home instead?

Donate any food and drink that you’ve already purchased and hope that everyone has a lovely time. By all means pop in for a meal, but give yourself a break.

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In the meantime, get your wife on her own and make it very clear that you’ve just about reached your limit.

Point out that you’re not stupid. To date you’ve forgiven her numerous times as she’s cheated on you with a variety of lovers.

Why does she keep coming back when she clearly thinks so little of you?

Remind her that marriage equals commitment and truth. You and she aren’t in an open relationship, so why does she think it appropriate to run around like a carefree singleton?

I fail to see how you and she can carry on like this when she clearly has her own agenda and you are a man on the edge.

  • Cheating
  • Christmas
  • Family

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