My wife and I split and she had sex with somebody else but now wants me back

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I split during lockdown and she had sex with somebody else.

But being intimate with someone else made her realise she wanted to make us work.

I’m pleased she wants to try again but all I can think about is the two of them together and it’s ruining our relationship, although I still love her.

We are both 38, have been married for ten years and have two children together. We planned to separate after Christmas 2019 but then the pandemic hit and we had to stay under the same roof.

When the rules were relaxed, my wife met somebody she had been talking to online. She told me he was 35 and she was attracted to him.

They went back to his place and started having sex. But she told me she stopped him almost as soon as they started and couldn’t do it.

How do we get through this?

Get in touch with Deidre today

My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.

Send an email to [email protected]

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.

DEIDRE SAYS: Many couples do survive affairs after realising the relationship they want is the one they already have.

When you think of her with this other guy, check yourself and think about a great time you have had together – your wedding day, say, or a passionate night – anything to endorse the fact in your mind that you are the winner here.

Some couples’ counselling would do you good too.

Contact Tavistock Relationships (, 020 7380 1960) for online emotional support.

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