My son called me all the names under the sun because I had a haircut

DEAR DEIDRE: MY son had a go at me because I had my haircut recently. This was before the latest lockdown but he reckons I will be to blame if his dad now becomes ill with coronavirus.

He called me all the names under the sun and accused me of gambling with my husband’s life. I am 71, my husband’s 73.

We both have health issues and have been really careful for the past ten months. This was only my second haircut in that time and I really needed it.

I went to the salon with my husband’s blessing and I made sure they were following all the correct guidance. I didn’t break any rules, as the hairdresser was open for business.

My son and his wife are living with us while their house is built and are in their late-thirties.

We have always done our best to accommodate them but my son is a bully.
This is not the first time he has treated me like this. I never thought I could hate my own child to this extent.

We feel as though our life is not our own. I can’t wait until their house is ready and they move out. Do we just hang on until then and hope they go soon?

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DEIDRE SAYS: This is a miserable atmosphere to live in. He sounds as unhappy as you are, or perhaps he is genuinely fearful over coronavirus.

Pick a calm moment to talk to him and say he needs help – and fast. He can ask his GP for a referral for some anger management. My support pack Managing Anger has self-help strategies to help him too.

He might not understand why he becomes so hostile, but he must learn to treat you and his father with respect, particularly while enjoying your hospitality.

Have a roundtable to agree ground rules for living together until your son and his wife can move out.

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