My pregnant girlfriend won't have sex with me so I snogged someone else

DEAR DEIDRE: A SEX drought because my partner is pregnant has made me so frustrated that I snogged another woman in the back of a taxi.

I’m now on the brink of having a full-blown affair.

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I’m 35 and my partner, who is five months pregnant, is 32.

But ever since the little blue line appeared on her pregnancy test, she’s had no interest in sex.

Until that point we’d been doing it every day in order to conceive. She could not get enough of me.

So it was a shock when I got a “Not tonight, darling” within days of the happy news.

It made me feel rejected, like she had only wanted me for my sperm.

Another four months have now gone by and we’re still in a celibate relationship.

She’s either not in the mood, says she’s worried it will hurt the baby or she’s not feeling well.

I know once the baby comes we’ll both be exhausted, so I imagine this going on for years.

We’ve drifted into being friends, rather than partners. I’m still young — I want a lover not a flatmate.

And so when I met an old college friend, 34, who was going through a divorce, and she started flirting with me, I’m ashamed to say I flirted back.

By the end of the evening I was very drunk and there was no way I could drive, so we agreed to share a taxi.

When it lurched at the traffic lights, we fell against each other and, after laughing, ended up kissing.

She’s been messaging me ever since and wants to meet again. If we do, I know we’ll sleep together.

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I love my partner so I need to sort this out before I do something I regret.

But how?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner’s body is changing.

She is likely to be feeling tired and sick, which puts a complete damper on having sex.

This is the first big test of your relationship, so instead of pulling away, focus on supporting her.

If you love your partner, and don’t want to be that weekend dad to your baby, ignore your college friend’s messages.

Many women feel particularly ill in the early months of pregnancy but the sickness subsides later on.

Tell your girlfriend you miss the intimacy of sex and ask her how she feels.

If you are close enough to have sex, you should be close enough to properly talk about it.

You can still have a sex life, albeit one that involves compromise.


I fantasise about my sister-in-law when I have sex with my wife

Jimmy is embarrassed when his girlfriend Lucy pays for dinner

Without the pressure to perform in bed, you’ll probably find sex happens naturally.

My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, should help.

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