My dad hates that I don't work – despite the fact I'm caring for him

DEAR DEIDRE: MY dad is so resentful of me retiring at 52, yet I gave up work to look after him because he couldn’t manage alone.

He owned a cafe but slipped on a wet floor one night and broke his back.

He was 72 then and in hospital for months. He had to give up work and can barely walk now.

I am a man and had a great job in the City. I’d been considering retirement because Dad was struggling and I gave up work last year to be with him.

I moved back home and rented out my house.

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Dad seems intent on finding me a new job. He cuts ads from the paper and passes them to me.

We end up arguing and sometimes I’ve stormed out, breaking things on my way.

It’s so frustrating. I can’t sound off to anyone. It’s just dad and me.

I sometimes feel he’s so ungrateful, I should have stayed working.

DEIDRE SAYS: You are doing a great job but anyone looking after a loved one can feel the stress of it all.

No doubt your dad appreciates you but he’s concerned – perhaps because he’s worried about your future.

Explain to him you are enjoying a break from corporate life and want to be there for him.

Age UK (ageuk.org.uk, 0800 055 6112) is a great resource if you are struggling with anything.

My support pack Managing Anger shows how to keep in control.

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