DEAR DEIDRE: I’M desperate to tell my fiancée I had sex with her new friend in our bed.
The guilt is too much to bear. I’m 24 and my girlfriend is 25.
She is gorgeous and far too good for me.
We met in a bar in Majorca. I never thought it would last but it did and we are due to be married next year.
I’m not sure why I cheated on her. I could blame this new friend because it was all her idea but then I should have said no.
Her mate, who is 23, came round to our flat after work as she and my girlfriend had planned to go out for a drink.
She then got a text from my girlfriend to say she would be late.
Her friend was fed up. She told me she’d had a bad week and was desperate for wine.
I was trying to be nice when I opened a bottle of prosecco.
That went down really well but it didn’t last long. I opened another, then my girlfriend messaged again to say she was still stuck at work and didn’t know when she could leave. Her pal was laughing by now and said she didn’t care, she was already having a great Friday night.
She started flirting with me and saying that I shouldn’t be left on my own at the end of the week.
She made all the moves, I can promise you that.
But she’s a great-looking girl and I can’t pretend I didn’t have sex on my mind.
She pulled me down on to our new high-end bed. The sex was amazing but, even before it was finished, I hated myself.
That wasn’t the first time I’d cheated on my fiancée. I did so before on a football weekend.
After this latest incident, my girlfriend went out for a drink with her friend the following night.
It’s clear she gave nothing away.
I almost wish it was out in the open so I stop feeling this guilt.
SOME people find they cannot tear themselves away from a damaging relationship.
This sort of obsessive love usually follows an upbringing which has led to low self-esteem. My leaflet on Addictive Love can help. For a copy, email me or message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: Do not fool yourself that everything would be fine if you confess to your girlfriend that you had sex with her friend.
She would be massively hurt and I doubt you would feel any better, especially if she broke off your engagement.
It is best if you work out just what made you cheat and make sure it will not happen again.
You think your girlfriend is too good for you, so perhaps you should ask what she loves about you and why she wants to be with you for ever.
It could be that low self-esteem is to blame for the way you have behaved and that you still need convincing you have got what it takes.
Why can’t you believe in yourself and believe you are a loveable man?
Perhaps you have not been shown enough love in the past.
Read my e-leaflet Raising Self- Esteem, tell yourself that you do deserve love and make a firm – but silent – promise you won’t cheat again.
Source: Read Full Article