Husband asks wife for permission to have an affair

Wife is shocked after husband of 15 years asks for permission to have an affair: ‘I don’t know what to do’

  • Husband asked wife for permission to have an affair 
  • The couple have been together for 15 years 
  • The wife, 38, was left feeling sad and confused  

A wife was left feeling ‘angry and confused’ after her husband asked if he can have an affair with another woman.

The couple have been together for nearly 15 years and the odd request left the wife  mortified. 

Seeking advice on Reddit, the 38-year-old woman admitted she felt ‘so petty’ and ‘hasn’t stopped crying’. 

‘Last week my husband asked if he could talk about something serious. I said yes, of course, we are always very open and honest with each other,’ she wrote, adding: ‘He tells me that he has been very distracted lately looking at other women and he hopes it hasn’t bothered me too much.’ 

She goes on to explain how she isn’t fussed about as there’s ‘no harm in looking’, but the conversation quickly took a turn. 

‘We keep talking until he blurts out that he is thinking a lot about what it might be like to have sex with someone else,’ she said. 

A husband asked his wife for permission to have an affair, leaving her feeling ‘angry and confused’. The wife shared the details on Reddit seeking advice (stock image)

The woman explained how he lost his virginity to her soon after they started dating and hasn’t been with anyone else. 

‘He knows I had several partners in high school and college. He spent all that time hanging with friends and playing video games. I was his first kiss. Nearly a year later we had sex. I was his first. We’ve been monogamous and faithful ever since,’ she wrote. 


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‘He promised that was fine with that when we committed. He promised again when we got married. Now nearly 15 years later he isn’t fine anymore.

‘He says he’d like to date and have a fling. No way. How is that fair to me or her. He offers to have a one-night stand or hire an escort if it makes me more comfortable.’ 

The wife is convinced that if she agreed to the affair, her husband would want to continue sleeping with other women – and she isn’t fond of the idea of an ‘open marriage’. 

To make matters worse, the wife has been cheated on before and ‘knows how it feels’ while her partner ‘doesn’t have a clue’. 

The husband even offered legal separation and says they pair should ‘reconnect in a few months’, but his wife said ‘no’.

‘I ask if he really wants to divorce over this. He says he doesn’t. He does not have to have this he just really wants it,’ the wife continued.

‘He promises he will get therapy and learn to accept he is a one-woman man until he dies. I’m crushed when he says this. I feel so petty.

‘He assures me he can be fine again and asks me to just not worry about it.’

The wife is convinced the odd scenario can ‘only end in divorce’ that neither of them want. 

‘It’s been a week. I’m still crying whenever I’m alone. I can’t think about anything else. I can’t sleep next to him. I lay awake until he falls asleep and sneak into the guest room. He hasn’t mentioned it,’ she said.

‘He wants my blessing to f*ck another woman before he turns 40. I’m angry, sad, confused. I love him to death but I think I need a divorce if he can’t be faithful.’ 

Mother, 32, who has secret affairs with other men reveals how it has SAVED her 10-year marriage


Most couples seek relationship counselling to heal a crumbling marriage, but one woman has taken a far less virtuous approach.

Layla*, 32, from Canberra, has been married for 10 years to her husband and regularly seeks out affairs in a bid to keep her relationship ‘on track’.

‘I’ve been married for 10 years and my husband is amazing,’ Layla told FEMAIL.

‘We have a young family, we both work in busy professional roles and we spend as much time together as we can.’

Despite this, Layla said the ‘intimacy’ in the marriage is ‘long gone’ and her husband is ‘no longer interested’ in that side of the marriage.

Layla tried to ‘rebuild’ the intimate side of her marriage but as much as she tried, it simply didn’t work – even though everything else in the relationship was perfect.

‘While I was happily married I was lonely, really lonely,’ Layla said, who turned to affair dating website Ashley Madison in February to seek out an extramarital partner.

‘I met a few really lovely people and I went on coffee dates and drink dates which I enjoyed.

‘But I just wanted to find one person I connected with.’

And her wish came true, with Layla meeting married man Jamie* in March 2018, just one month later.

The comments section was quickly flooded with advice, while others questioned if the husband has cheated before. 

‘The good news is that he told you … the bad news is that you two do not see eye to eye on this and he’s spilled the beans and he can’t take back what he blurted out to you even if he wishes he could,’ one person wrote. 

‘Just be honest with him … If you talk it through, show him your honest feelings, and maybe even get some counselling together there might be a chance to salvage what you’ve got.’

Another said: ‘If not already he will do soon behind her back. He was just looking for permission to do it. He wants the best of both worlds.’

A third added: ‘This same thing happened to my mom’s best friend, and it turns out he was already cheating. He suggested an open relationship as a way to softened her up to the idea. 

‘I think you should be open to the possibility that he may have already done the deed and was using this as a way to gauge your reaction.’ 

Others said ‘at least he’s being honest’ about how he feels and what he’s thinking about. 

‘I’ve got to give your husband some credit because instead of just wandering off and having an affair like most people, he brought up his issues with you directly and then backed off when he realised what he was broaching was too hurtful for the relationship. He even committed to getting help,’ one wrote.

The 12 warning signs of infidelity:

1. They are playing new music

2. The passenger seat has been adjusted

3. More mileage on the car than there should be

4. Being protective of phone, social media or email

5. Dramatic change in sex drive

6. Decline in communication

7. New clothes and underwear

8. Change in personality  

9. They want to do their own laundry

10. They start using new phrases

11. They’re spending more money

12. You catch them not wearing their wedding ring

Source: Mailonline

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