Bridezilla plans to ditch her pregnant sister-in-law as a bridesmaid because her bump won’t fit into the same ‘constricting’ dress as the rest of the party – and tells her she ‘shouldn’t be THAT uncomfortable’
- The anonymous bridesmaid, thought to be US-based, shared dilemma online
- She revealed that she will be five-months pregnant for her brother’s wedding
- A dress consultant has said the gown will be ‘constricting on her bump
- Now the maid has asked whether she’s being unreasonable to refuse to wear it
A bridezilla has demanded her pregnant sister-in-law wear a ‘constricting’ bridesmaid gown on the big day – and threatened to remove her from the wedding party if she refused.
The anonymous bridesmaid – thought to be from the US – posted about her dilemma on Reddit, explaining she had fallen pregnant after struggling with fertility issues and would be five months along on her sister-in-law’s wedding day.
But when she told the bride – who wants all of her bridesmaids to be in the same gown – that she might no longer be able to fit the dress they had chosen, she was furious, hinting she might no longer be involved in the big day.
The bridesmaid asked if she was being unreasonable but was reassured by other respondents, who said they felt the bride was being unreasonable, and that her behavior was only going to get worse.
A bridesmaid is potentially going to come to blows with her future sister-in-law over what she is willing to wear at the wedding
An anonymous poster on Reddit asked other forum users whether she was being unreasonable in not wanting to wear a ‘constricting’ dress at a wedding when she’ll be five months pregnant
The pregnant woman explained: ‘When I saw the dress, I thought it would be best to call the bridal company to get a consult on how this dress would fit at 5 months pregnant. It was recommended that I look at their maternity line, as it was said the dress would be constricting and uncomfortable at 5mos. The consultant said if it HAD to be the dress, I could try sizing up, but it wouldn’t guarantee a comfortable fit. Ok. So now I know…now to tell the bride.’
She continued: ‘ I call the bride, and let her know that there is a problem with the dress fitting maternity sizes, that it was not meant to be a maternity dress. To which she says, “I mean, couldn’t you just size up?”…this was after I told her the issue with sizing up.
‘She then states, “I don’t really know what to do…I’ll worry about it later tonight and let you know what I decide.” Ok, great.
‘Minutes later, I get a text from her (basically a book) but to summarize: “It comes down to this: I don’t want one bridesmaid wearing a different dress than the others… I know you talked to a consultant, but I don’t think your bump will be that big at 5 months…I want everyone to be comfortable, however, you will only be wearing the dress for 6 hours, so it really shouldn’t be that uncomfortable…
‘”You don’t have to wear the heels if those aren’t comfortable…but I’ve seen people at 8 and 9mos pregnant wearing dresses similar to this, so honestly you shouldn’t have a problem…there is not enough time for everyone to reorder a dress to match yours (keep in mind…I suggested a maternity dress) …
‘”I’ve been dreaming of this day for many many years, and I am excited to have you stand up there with me, but I’m sorry I can’t have you wearing a different dress.”‘
‘I sent her a picture of the maternity dress that fits the style of the original dress (the only difference is empire waist for maternity, and a higher back). She sends back “I would still like everyone in the same dress, and you can just get it altered…I will suggest alterations if you’d like”…. Am I the a******?’
Numerous posters felt the bride was being unreasonable, and that her demands were out of line
Fellow users were quick to slam the bride’s behaviour. One wrote: ‘Bow out before it gets worse. It might not be that bad now but eventually closer to the wedding it will be and you won’t need that stress during your pregnancy.’
Another added: ‘I will never NOT find the idea that perfect pictures on one day are more important than loving friends and family completely absurd. Btw especially since you mention potential fertility issues, I’d want you in my wedding as comfortable as possible. Chair out to sit and warm pjs.’
Multiple commentators called the bride a ‘bridezilla’, with one writing: ‘Step down now. Bridezilla has a vision for her wedding and pity the person that tries to make her deviate. You don’t know how you’re going to feel at the time of the wedding, you could feel fabulous or completely exhausted with your underlying conditions. You and the baby are far more important than bridezilla’s vision.
‘Besides she’s going to blame you for taking attention away from her on her special day if you are a bridesmaid. You know, someone acknowledges you are pregnant for five seconds and bridezilla loses it because she’s not the center of the universe for those five seconds. That’s how bridezilla’s are, you can’t make them happy.’
While some respondents felt strongly that the bride was being a bridezilla, others felt that she was within her rights to want the maid to wear the dress – and that both parties were being fair
However, others felt that both parties were being reasonable – as the bride had made a compromise in telling the bridesmaid she didn’t have to wear high heels.
One wrote: ‘No a******* here. I concur with others about contacting a local seamstress/tailor, and bringing them pics to see if they think they can alter it. If so, then they can have it and arrange a final fitting right before the wedding.
‘They can probably also make it comfy underneath if they’re experienced in maternity wear. Seems like a fair compromise, provided the cost is not extreme and you and the bride are both happy with who pays. Preferably she would, but if you’re well off I get it would be a kind gesture to take care of it, even if it’s not your first choice of solution.’
Another agreed, writing: ‘If it’s genuinely impossible to have a size up tailored to fit, I think you should step down as bridal party, no harm done. She’s trying to compromise in that way at least, and maybe, with quality alterations, it would work.
‘I think she’s entitled to suggest you try all avenues, like sizing up and tailoring, and it sounds like (based on her heels concession) that she’s not a bad bridezilla.’
Multiple posters suggested the poster should simply step down from bridesmaid
Some people felt that the poster shouldn’t worry about the wedding too much, and should simply step back from bridesmaid’s duties and prioritise herself.
One Redditor said: ‘Just step down, at 5mo it’s impossible to wear a dress that’s not appropriate for maternity, put yourself and baby first.’
Another simply added: ‘Umm just pull out of being in the wedding party. [Tell her] sorry SIL that seems like a lot of hoping I don’t show early. I’m just going to go ahead and demote myself to guest. Can not wait to watch you and brother getting married from the pews xx.’
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