My father-in-law told me to 'get over' my miscarriage and criticizes my every move- is it time to take a break from him?

WE HAVE heard countless horror stories about toxic mothers-in-law, or monster-in-laws, as they have been nicknamed.

But one woman has shared her experience with her rude and “combative” father-in-law.


The exhausted woman anonymously posted on Reddit to vent about her relationship with her father-in-law and gain outside perspective about her situation. 

“My husband and I have struggled with my in-laws from day one,” she began, adding that she has been married to her husband for six years at the time of her post. 

“[My in-laws] have been very divisive towards our marriage; his mom is way more covert and passive-aggressive, but his dad is very combative towards me. 

“Calling me controlling, attacking me and my relationships with my family, telling my husband he never used to be this way until he married me … they do NOT understand or respect boundaries.”

The upset woman noted she once “took a break” from her in-laws along with her husband, and they both asked them to go to counseling to work on their issues.

The woman and her husband even wrote a detailed letter to the parents to explain their boundaries and why they feel the need to set them.

The woman said she and her husband have always tried to work on the relationship, but was flabbergasted when they had the parents over for a bonfire one night and they completely dismissed the fact that she had suffered several miscarriages.

“[My father-in-law’s] response was, ‘You need to get over your pain. You’re not the only one who’s ever lost a baby.’”

The pent-up anger came to a boiling point when the father exploded on the couple after they asked him to ask his grandson if he can give him a hug or kiss before doing it, as they're teaching consent.

The father spewed a massive amount of hateful comments in return.

At one point, the father-in-law, whose wife is a prayer counselor, said, “You young lady are in serious need of help and as scripture teaches, it will not go well with you!”

The daughter-in-law, who has suffered six miscarriages in about a year and is undergoing cancer treatment, has had enough – and her husband is on her side.

“Neither of us has the extra strength or energy right now to even be dealing with this,” she wrote.

Now, they are thinking about skipping out on time with the husband’s family around the holidays but are unsure if that’s too severe of an action. 

The woman, who has not posted an update to her disturbing story, may be comforted by the fact that the internet seems to agree with her.

“Your in-laws are toxic and show no sign of willingness to change their behavior. Why on earth are you continuing to subject your family to that?

“Of course it's time to take a break — FOREVER,” one appalled reader commented.

“Can confirm pie eaten in peace tastes better than pie eaten with a toxic family,” a second person wrote. 

“Take a break from them,” another person commented. 

“You’re currently going through a lot and they aren’t being mindful of your own personal difficulties right now. Focus on your family.”

In a post for Psychology Today, sexuality educator Yvonne K. Fulbright noted that it’s important to set boundaries with in-laws and to not budge from them. 

In fact, she even said it’s even important to put them “in their place,” so they know you’re not putting up with their inappropriate behavior.

A husband seems to have taken this advice when he smashed wedding cake into his own mother’s face when she decided to wear her wedding dress to his big day. 

That’s certainly one way to handle things!

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